Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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