really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize