Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  guess who came home with a hottie last night

  (1-805): View more from California

  Def drugged

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  (805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (946)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest

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  (732): just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest http://tfl.nu/tjgh
  Replies (13) Good night (4336) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

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  (310): It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations http://tfl.nu/cpf7
  Replies (19) Good night (8524) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are paw prints all over my ceiling.

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  (303): There are paw prints all over my ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gg63
  Replies (12) Good night (3602) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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  (573): I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use." http://tfl.nu/1qa0
  Replies (8) Good night (5731) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  (903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm
  Replies (18) Good night (1255) Bad night (2724)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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  (704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73
  Replies (10) Good night (2010) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.

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  (901): mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again. http://tfl.nu/wn4g
  Replies (8) Good night (891) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.

  (916): View more from California

  Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.

  (415): View more from California

  HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.

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  (415): We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002. (916): Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening. (415): HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone. http://tfl.nu/fe9v
  Replies (15) Good night (1909) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.

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  (410): That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home. http://tfl.nu/bawg
  Replies (9) Good night (2679) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.

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  (+27): He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/h7su
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position

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  (727): Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position http://tfl.nu/l5hj
  Replies (4) Good night (768) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

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  (631): A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway. http://tfl.nu/tmel
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?

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  (707): I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right? http://tfl.nu/gf0b
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine

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  (303): you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine http://tfl.nu/mjql
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (138)

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