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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother

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• (707): View more from California

  I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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• (863): View more from Florida

  And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

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  29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops

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• (518): View more from New York

  Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello

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