I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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