My first STD was from a foam party
Me too!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
