He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize