Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
