I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
