here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
