Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You need Xanax blowdarts
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize