you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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