he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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