Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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