I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
