i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it because I queefed?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
