her vagine was all disorganized.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
