It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
