So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
