well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
