and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
