I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
NoShamevember. You game?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
