I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
