Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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