i'm signing you up for texting rehab
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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