I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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