Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
