They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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