they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
