If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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