Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
