I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
