also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
