You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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