not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
