Sponge bath it is.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
