I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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