At least make sure they are 18
Why
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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