i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
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I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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