he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
