AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
