I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
