I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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