You can't special order awesome
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
