Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
