I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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