Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
