shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
