He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
