i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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