all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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