Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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