Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
