We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
