apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
