He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
